That was then, this is now...

A dream come true................=))

Al-Fatihah for Nurin

I just can't believe it. The one month search ended with a horrific discovery. I'm still in shock because since the body of the little girl was found, I silently hoped that it wasn't Nurin...although I was deeply sad for the 'unknown' girl nonetheless. But as we know, science has confirmed that the body was indeed Nurin's...I can't help but cry when I found out. What happened to her was simply a pure cruel and heartless act. JAHAT!!! ;( And to think the poor poor girl was stuffed in a bag after the hell that she'd been through???!! The truth is, the world is no longer safe to live in. Not for adults, even more so for children. I pray to GOD that we will all stay safe. Take care of each other ok? Look out for one another. There's more bad than good out there...;( Al-Fatihah...


As sorry as I am for the little girl, could there possibly be a tiny bit of chance that i could secretly hope that lil Nurin is alive out there?... somewhere?

Kids.. ;p

Have u seen this girl? Ishh...risau betul la budak ni xjumpa2 lagi. Dahla bulan puasa ni. Nurin ni br jek 8 tawun.. Mesti dia sedih giler xdpt poser ngan family. And i'm very sorry for her parents..Ya Allah, camane la nk menanggung rindu kat anak di bulan ramadhan ni. Huwaa!! I wish the kid can somehow materialize in front of me so that i could give her back to her parents. I could defntly live with that for the rest of my life...knowing that i did something good kan kan!! And imagine the parents' face kalu kita pulangkan anak dorang! Wah besnyer! Priceless, i tell ya! Absolutely priceless. Kalu ada trjumpa, sila...

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Hmm..talkin about kids, tingat masa my dad's company punyer carnival bout 2 years ago. Masa tu me and my adik2 br beli ice-cream...tgh makan la ni kan...all of a sudden there was this little girl who came up to me and held my arm...her eyes were staring intently at the ice-cream in my hand...Sebab kesian tgk dia, i pon tanya la..'nak ice-cream?' sambil menghulurkan ice-cream yg baru mkn sikit tu. budak tu xjwb apa pon...terus nganga mulut... wakaka.. mmg tahan gelak gak la time tu, my sis and my bro dh tebahak-bahak dah. And it didn't stop there..before i know it, i was sitting in a chair, holding the ice-cream stick for her while she slowly devoured the whole thing. Mmg rasa cam ibu2 lak time tu..=) dok tahan rambut dia yg panjang tu sambil dia makan eskim, pastu dok lap mulot dia yg belemuih tu....prektis la plekk ;p... And nak tau apa lg pelik...pas abis makan, lap2 mulut sumer...dia pegi camtu je tak babai i pon. Kesian i, eskim dah abis, huwaaa...ekeke...

Anak sape, la agaknyer kan? Act i'm just sorry for her mom. she must be embarrased if she found out about it. just imagine, she ate it all and i was left with a stick in my hand! How bizarre is that! Kids just never stop to surprise us kan?

U know what? this reminds me of another kid when i myself was a kid...kuikui...masa tu darjah 6..pengawas la konon time tu... masa tu, waktu balik skolah, sbg pengawas yg tersangatlah berkaliber dan berdedikasi, me and yasmin blk lmbt sket la...masa nk blk tu, ada la nmpk budak kecik ni duduk kat tepi dinding tengah menangis teresak-esak. kitorang pon pegi la kat budak tu, sambil bertanya kenapa dia nangis..kena tinggal bas ke...ada org pukul ke...kan. Tak ingat la dia jwb ke tak. Tp apa yg nk dibitau kt cni, dsebabkan budak tu xhenti2 menangis, kitorang pon ckp la..." esok akak bg gula2 eh? adik jgn nangis lagi, akak janji esok kasi gula-gula". AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS, SAMPAI ARINI BUDAK TU XDPT GULA2 DR KITORANG!! rasanya sbb lupa n tak jmp dah budak tu lepas ari tu.

HUWAAAA!!! sampai arini rasa bersalah. Rasanya budak tu skang mgkn around 18 tawun. Diharap kalu in an absolutely amazing twist of fate or miracle ke apa, budak tu terrrrbaca post ni and still remember dua org kakak tudung biru kat SRK Kidurong year 1996 yg telah memberikan janji2 palsu (yg sorang pakai spek beso wana pink uhuk2)...please contact me as soon as possible ok! I need to buy u those gula2 we promised! xleh idop la cenggini... please...we are so very sorry...;( mintak ampunn...

My Graduation..

sorry for the late entry. before i start, ni nak mengucapkan selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan kepada sumer umat Islam di seluruh dunia. Semoga bulan yg mulia ini menjadikan kita insan yg lebih sempurna chewah.

Ok here goes...(beghriyer compose kat notepad mlm td ni). when 'D' day came, i woke up next to my grandma at dawn and xtido blk sampai sunrise. borak2...kemas2 brg while busy sending and replying sms'es talking about how anxious and nervous we were(or how incredibly cold MY feet were, as a matter of fact..). Don't know why, it's just who i am..i get really nervous and all choked up for the smallest of reasons. bole kata gabra yg belebih-lebihan la..(need to remind myself to take a chill pill once in a while). My session will only be starting around 2 that afternoon but i was already feeling all jumpy, my throat dry, my hands were damp and cold, and my drumming heart felt like it would jump out of me at any moment.

I was having a hard time at breakfast sbb takut nnt skt perut, takut kenyang sgt, takut lapar sgt and mcm2 lagi la yg i dok pk masa tu. Ntah haper2 la minah ni kan? Overreacting ngalahkn plakon wanita terbaik. Lps breakfast, jln jap and we went back to the hotel to check out( flite ibu n nenek kol 6 that same day). After a few trips to the bathroom and a rather tragic make-up experience with my mom, we made our way to ums.

Dh sampai ums, i put on my hideous n ugly ever so beautiful robe or gown or whatever u call it and amik gamba mata sepet ngan family (panas terik siot!)

mom helping me get ready

gamba mata sepet

Tried to locate my friends before taking my family to Tamu Gadang for their early lunch sbb nnt xsmpt nk mkn. So kitorang duduk2, dorang makan2, i tgk2,i mintak sikit. Time dh nk bgn pi dewan,dengan tidak semena-mena turunlah hujan rahmat convocation yg lebat gegiler. Of course...I yg sememangnyer tgh nervous tak ingat...trus jadik panic sampai air mata dh nk kuar. Siyes!! Now that i think about it again, klaka la plekk...agegege.. Tapi mmg nk nangis pon masa tu. Cuba bygkan, dhla umbrella ella ella pon xde! Time tu mmg dh kena berkumpul and i was LATE! Tolong!!!Tolong!!! Jerit hati kecilku.

Then my dad got this brilliant idea mintak plastik sampah (baru punya okay!) besar yg kaler itam tu and cut it flat open. Nsb baik masa tu xbrapa nk lebat, so, dgn jubah yg ala-ala lawyer, i lari pi dewan wearing my 'black cape'. Sambil2 tu membebel sensorang but i cant quite recall what i was murmuring about.

Alhamdulillah, sampai kat dewan...tgh kalut2 tu, Alhamdulillah lg skali, jumpa la fiza n balqis.

look at me in the middle..cam tiang lampu...nebes sampai takleh nk senyom

They took one look at me and made me realize that i wasn't quite ready for the event. my freakin hood was not how it supposed to look like! So, my mom and my friends helped 'save' me. Thanks guys, dah menggelabah giler time tu..mesti korang rasa nk pelempang je kasi i 'get a grip' sket kan??

Hmm..lepas tu kan...turned out that the three of us were the only ones yg xpatut ada kat ctu. graduates lain sume kat atas.. how the heck are we gonna get up there?? dh le kat luar ujan. Lepas berlari ke hulu ke hilir mcm lawyer-kena-kejar-anjing, nasib bek ada hamba Allah yg bermurah hati bg kitorg jalan lalu kat dlm. Kitorang pon berlari sakan dgn mekap yg cair and peluh yg mengalir..huih daH SYAT tol. and kitorg pon sampai kat toilet n jmp ramai org yg ghuper cam kitorang tgh touch-up depan cermin. kitorang pon join la skali...after meaningless attempts nak betulkan tudung yg herot-petot(ayt fz) disebabkan pemakaian mortar board, terdengar jeritan seorang wanita yg agak bengis memanggil graduan untuk pegi berbaris SEKARANG JUGA!!! Huwaa...scary nyer kak!! Kitorang pon pi la carik kosmet2 lain. Dah jumpa sumer org, baru lega sket.

Tunggu punya tunggu, sampai penat menanggung nebes dr pagi tak surut2. slagi blom nek and turun pentas dgn selamatnya, slagi tu la i cant calm down. Kemudian, kitorang pon mula la berarak masuk dewan dgn iringan music chewah...this is it...the moment of truth.. tgh turun tangga, nana who was behind me, bumped on me twice. kiki...masa de telanggar tu, i started imagining if i were to fall and bump on fiza in front of me, all of us would be performing a 'human dominoes effect'. Makkk tragiknyer. Nsb bek sume ok.

how we look like from where my family sat

Sementara menunggu giliran yg bapak pny lama tu, toleh2 la kat blakang tgk my parents n my nenek. risau takut my mom xsmpat tgk i nek pentas...dorang kena kuar at 4pm to catch their flite. Dahla course kitorang 2nd last. Ayyyjjjoooo... Time tu stat la pk bukan2, takut nama tak kuar, takut jatuh tesembam, takut kain telucut..tidakkk!! (i pakai kain lepas, my mom syg nk jait songket dia, so i have to bear with a belt and lots of safety pins), takut tesilap salam, takut tepele'ot/tersadung sumthing, dan macam2 lagi bermain2 di fikiranku tatkala itu. Alhamdulillah, takde apa yg tak diingini berlaku. They even pronounced my name perfectly!(seldom happen) And even my picture turned out quite good..if i may say so myself ehemm ehemm...;p

me accepting my degree *smile!!* ;p

Oh and who can ever 4get the event that almost brought me to tears if it wasn't 4 my make-up....the grand entrance of a dear friend of mine ekeke....bravo dude!

Begitulah seadanya..lepas abis sumer tu, my dad pon hv to go and i was left all alone in the middle of a very large, happy crowd. sedihla jugak time tu tekapai-kapai keseorangan, sumer org ngan family dorang

(i know bukan sumer but it sure felt like it ;( boohoo) jumpa kawan ni amik gamba, jumpa kawan tu amik gamba...sampai maghrib baru blk. tu yg dok kat cc kpg E spt yg dinyatakan dlm post sebelum ini...Sedih la sensorang. Oh well, i should b thankful that at least my parents came and saw me went up the stage, didn't they? It's a shame my sister and my brother couldnt make it. Then it would've been perfect. okla dh penat. Nite...Slamat berpuasa guys!

what a day

My graduation day. I'm now sitting all alone in a CC kat kpg E. It was a heck of a day. Exciting, satisfying, nerve-wrecking, fun, sad, and embarrasing day all at the same time. So u can guess i'm freakin tired and worn out right now. It's 7. 25pm and my parents have all gone home. Nazrin ada UPSR esok. I'm staying at my friends place here in kpg E, she went out so i'm spending my time in front of this comp (dragging along my jubah, mortar board, handbag, and a heavy sling bag), waiting for her. Lusa br blk. hmm... can't think straight rite now so i'll give u all the juicy details and the pics on my next post k? till then...bye