Please don't faint.

I gave myself quite a scare last week. I almost passed out.

It was like any other day, i was at my desk, staring at the computer screen, doing the things i do everyday.

When all of a sudden, I felt a slight headache coming. Not really a headache, but my head was...spinning. I tried to ignore it for awhile, thinking it was nothing, took a sip of water, and continued with what i was doing. It won't go away, so i drank some more, and rested my head for a while. No, it was definitely not working.

So I made my way to the toilet (even swayed a bit). When i came out of the toilet, still there. I rushed back to my office and tried to calm myself down. A few deep breaths... Still nothing. The world was spinning really fast and i have no idea how to stop it! So i finally gave up.

I took my keys, lock my office, and hurried to the registration counter. ( I work at a hospital). My friends thought i was about to ask them for something related to work, so they smiled and even started a light chit chat with me. I was already panicking. They thought i was playing around, pretending to be a patient. I asked to see the doctor. I remember they said something about my face being pale and quickly hand me a little form to fill. I only manage to write my name. I couldn't think. I was having chills all over. I was about to pass out like, any minute now!! HELP!

Suddenly my friend came over with a wheelchair and ushered me to sit on it. I hesitated for a second thinking i don't need it. I just couldn't think straight. They rushed me to the ER and sat me on the bed. My heart was beating so fast i started talking nonsense. Scary. The doctor began asking me questions while my nurse-friends were busy checking my blood pressure and stuff.

After a while, after much help from my friends, i managed to calm myself down. My head finally stopped spinning, and the feeling of faint gradually disappeared. They did an ECG test on me. Mind you, it was QUITE embarrassing having the ECG done by your own colleague. But i don't know which one's worse. Orang yang kita kenal ke, orang yang kita tak kenal. Still, it was quite an ordeal. Hahahaha. The keyword is "button-up shirt". Trust me.

So i was ok in the end. Malu jugak since a few of my friends/colleagues came over to see what was wrong with me. Words were going around (via Whatsapp) that Neena was wheeled to the ER! Huhu.. Alhamdulillah. It was prolly just my hemoglobin count being lower than my usual low. Did a full blood test the next day and this came out.

No surprise there.

My hb count was probably lower the day before, which was why i almost fainted. Nothing much i can do about it anyway. I've always been "sort of anemic". And i will be "sort of anemic" for the rest of my life. Sekarang kalau pening sikit dah risau dah. Haha cuak kot. I've never fainted before and i'm not planning to start now. InsyaAllah, amin. Take care, people. Really.

For you, yes you.

Considering the fact that i'm still living with my parents, the group of friends that i have around me at the moment, are at the very minimal. Since i'm back in my hometown, my friends are mostly my childhood friends. The ones i've known since kindergarten. No kidding. And since we practically grew up together, i'd say we're quite close. But then again, maybe not so much because right after we finished school, naturally, all of us went our separate ways.

And to be honest i think the years AFTER that was when we really GREW in an even bigger sense of the word. What i'm trying to say is, the friends we made during our late teens to early 20s are the different kind of friends. Even more so, we lived together, away from our parents. We survived together. Wake, sleep, study, go hungry, stay up late, be broke, together. I believe that made the bond stronger. But this is just my opinion, of course.

And then there's another point in my life, when i started living on my own, a while after i graduate. Almost the same kind of circumstances. But this time, in a much bigger scale. With a lot more responsibilities. Job, house rent, groceries, car, bills and what-have-yous. The friends i made around this time were, like me, on their way to pave their own paths to the adult life. Finding stability. Some found it in a significant other, some found it in their career, some found it in academic, some, still finding. Fortunately for me, these friends are the same ones that i made in my early twenties. And plus a bunch of great new ones!

And now that I'm back in my hometown. Where my life rarely goes out of the routine, my friends are just my colleagues. My childhood friends who are now all happily married, well we kinda grew apart because of the different lives we lead.

So since i rarely go out with my friends aka my colleagues, my life basically revolves around my family. As much as i love spending time with my family, i need a some kind of escape, every once in a while. i'm only human after all. So i began making new friends on Twitter. It's amazing. Then i started making friends on Instagram too! I would never have imagined. This day and age, anything's possible. Lol! I even managed to meet one of them. How cool is that! I have a few that i've become quite close with that i wish i could meet, someday. Hopefully, insyaAllah.

Thank you, friends. Each and every one of you. You won't believe how big of an impact you have in my life. We may not talk anymore, or chat on facebook anymore, just know that i appreciate you. All of you, have helped made me the person that i am today. I thank Allah for lending you to me, and i pray that Allah will make things easier for you, wherever you are. May we be blessed in this world and the hereafter, Amin.