Of old memories

Memory is such a powerful thing. Notice how whenever we say we miss someone, we often find ourselves reminiscing the times we had with them. Quite frankly, we miss the memory of being with them more than them, themselves. The places we go to, the things we talk about, the things we do together. We miss their company. And that's the truth. Not that it's a bad thing, not at all. It's just, normal.

So last weekend was when my in-laws moved back to their hood, Kelantan. After staying elsewhere for decades. This last house, in particular, was where they stayed for the past 11 years. Naturally, it was bittersweet to leave the place. Bitter cause it's goodbye after so long, Sweet cause they're finally moving back to their hometown, for good. 

My husband and I have been commuting back and forth ever since we got married. We'd stay overnight almost every weekend. It's when we'd be enjoying the company of a fairly big family, all under one roof, and it's also when my husband gets to enjoy his mom's cooking and escape mine ;p.

And that was it. 11years worth of memory. Memories of fun, laughter, pains and bruises of a couple with 8 children. Memories of them growing up, memories of them getting married, leaving the house, and finding their way back every now and then. 

So long, Presint 10, Putrajaya.

Maybe baby

Maybe because I walk too fast,
Maybe that's why you didn't last.

Maybe because I fell and hurt my knee,
Maybe that's why you're no longer in my tummy.

Maybe because of the chores I didn't wanna let your daddy do,
Maybe that's why I'll never get to see you.

Maybe we're just not meant to be. 
Maybe Allah has better plans for your daddy and me.


~Neena Kemp,
October 2014.

I guess the word is out

How do i start.

Lemme tell you a story.

It started around 5-6 years ago. I was an RA at UPM. So my lecturer (or supervisor, or boss) calls me to her friend's office, to help two new students to register. They're starting their Master's degree. Gave them forms. End. Was busy shredding some exam question papers with a couple of friends and had a little chat with these two juniors. End. Heard stories and rumors. Heard confessions, a little bit, here and there. And then came the day i had to move back to my hometown. Was asked out for lunch a couple of days before. End. Birthdays, festive holidays, trips to the airport. And last november 2013, i was taken straight to Prep Day 1. T minus 5 months. And here i am, at T minus TEN days.

I've never actually considered myself as "the marrying type". Never had a boyfriend, never actually date. Never really thought anyone would like me enough to marry me. Never really thought i'd be brave enough to accept anyone to be my husband. But i've always wanted to be a mother. Was set on adopting a child (and even planning on breastfeeding) some time this year. But Allah is the best planner. And I'm thankful for the privilege. Alhamdulillah.. 

So i'm getting married! Isn't that surreal? Thank you for all your prayers, my friends. Thank you. Love.

Watch this space.

Something is brewing. Can you smell it?


I'm going on an adventure. In T minus 3 months.

Still can't believe I'm doing this.

Which would you choose

Would you,

Take a chance and may or may not have the best or WORST time of your life,

OR,

Stay where you are and secure a mediocre life.

Mediocre, but at least you know you'll always be safe.
Not the best--occasional meltdowns, but safe. Boring and sad, but safe.

Which one would you choose.